VIBES DON’T LIE

People may not remember exactly what you did, or what you said, but they will always remember how you made them feel. Maya Angelou.

“I love their energy”

“Their energy is heavy”

“They have such a calming presence”

“Ugh, what’s wrong with them?”

We make observations every day about the people with whom we interact, and we usually leave an interaction with a certain feeling whether we consciously feel it or whether it’s just a subtle knowing, about the energy that we just encountered.

How we carry ourselves and the vibes that we emanate leave an energetic imprint in the universe.  The universe’s language is energy.  And the currency of the universe is love.

Absolutely everything is energy and you are an energetic being.

Our vibrations affect our everyday interactions.  We have all heard about the law of attraction and how our minds and emotions can manifest certain events and encounters.

I want to talk about how our energy can be used to spread more love.

While this philosophy can seem like a mere platitude that just sounds nice and looks good on a social media post, with a little awareness and willingness, we can really turn this message into a daily practice.  I put this to the test in recent interactions and I was amazed at the results.

It starts with intention.  It starts with a conscious decision.  It starts with a question: “What do I want to put out into the world?”

During my law career, I have been faced with many challenging interactions.  I am faced with contentious situations all day long.  People are broken and they are oftentimes facing serious legal challenges that are draining and depleting their energy.  In essence, people are on edge, and the ego is in full display.

Instead of fighting ego with ego, I decided long ago to bring a loving energy into everything I do, including to the practice of law.  That is always my intention.

I decided to focus on my energy and I started to observe all of my interactions, and be present with them.  The lessons were pretty magical!

I remember sitting at my desk one afternoon not that long ago, and I heard in the distance, a few rooms away, a very agitated person.  He had come to visit our office because he was being sued.

He walked into our office berating our team and demanding to speak to me.  He was loud and he was upset.  I was told by our receptionist that he was here and that he was not leaving until he spoke to me.

I had a choice.

I could have fully engaged from my ego, exercised my lawyer power and showed him that I was the boss and that he was the one being sued.  I could have fired back with attitude and demanded that he leave the office immediately.

Instead, I took a few breaths and I quietly said to myself.  “This is not about you.  He is being sued and he is upset.  I intend to calm him down and try to reason with him”

I took a few minutes to sink into my intention and I walked up to him.  I caught him mid-sentence berating our paralegal and in that moment he turned around and looked at me.  I stood there for one second without saying one word.  He immediately changed his look from aggravated to a bit more calm.  He felt my energy without knowing why he suddenly felt a bit calmer.  After a few seconds, I said “I’m Christine. Can I offer you some water and a quiet place to talk?  These ladies need to go back to work and I am the one you need to talk to.”

He said.  “I am sorry.  I am just really upset”.  I immediately acknowledged his agitation and said “let’s find a solution”.  He looked relieved.

We went into the conference room and I offered him several solutions on how we could resolve the case.  He left with a solution and a sense of calm and he said, as he shook my hand, “I came here to fight and I expected to find an aggressive lawyer. But I was wrong”

I went back to my office, and my team was in shock.  “How did you calm him down?”  “You can’t fight fire with fire,” I said.

A few weeks later I had a difficult case with a lawyer who was known to fight for the sake of fighting and he had a reputation of dragging out cases for the sake of punishing litigants (no lawyer jokes please J).  I tried for weeks to settle the case, but to no avail.  I was met with aggression every step of the way.

The day my client was set to give a deposition, I walked into his office and I asked to see him before the deposition.  I went into his office and I said the same prayer before I walked in.

I took a few breaths and although he was standing by the desk and telling me that he did not have time to talk, as I stood there, he must have felt my non-confrontational demeanor and unexpectedly sat back down.  He said “what do you want to talk about” I responded with “you are a very busy lawyer with many cases, surely there is a solution to this case.”  Let’s put it to bed so you can focus on your other more important cases”  He looked puzzled again and shortly thereafter, we hashed out a settlement.

He even managed a smile before I left.

One last story:

I was referred to a client who was known for being notoriously difficult and treating her lawyers like hired help.  No one wanted to take her case.  Before I called her for an initial consultation, I again set my intention of engaging with kindness, and although she was extremely abrasive during our encounters, I told her that in order to resolve her issues, she was going to have to be more cooperative and less confrontational with me.

By the end of the case that I successfully resolved for her, she mailed a post card from Europe inviting me to her hometown if I was ever in the area.

I do not have a special gift.  I do not have magical powers.  I simply have the willingness to bring calm into every situation I encounter.  In some instances, it may not be enough and the conflict may not be so easy to resolve, but my intention is always to stay in the energy of love (while setting boundaries of course).

I do not allow others to disrespect me, but I always try to understand why people feel the way they do and what motivates them to act out of fear.  I assure you that it is never personal.

The person in the first story was hurting because he was scared and he lashed out.  The second person was just living from ego because that is what he was accustomed to, and the last person, I found out, was suffering from a debilitating disease and she was just frustrated with the world.  All ego behavior.

The only anecdote for fear behavior is love and I intend to spread it as often as possible.

You want to help change the world?  It really states with your energy.

Ask yourself often: What am I emanating?  How am I treating everyone I encounter?  Where can I be more understanding?  Where can I show more compassion?

It all starts with intention and awareness, backed up by gentle action.

We can really change the world, even if it’s just your immediate world, one encounter at a time.  So, the next time you pick up the phone, meet with someone, send a text, post to social media, or walk into a room, ask yourself.

“What is my intention and how can I be more loving?”

Love and Peace,

Christine